Unencumbered

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; …”

As I live out my life in coming days, I want to gain an increasing awareness that God knows it all. He knows about my weaknesses and frailties; He knows about my abilities and disabilities. In His grace and wisdom, quite apart from my own, He allows me to keep them, but not keep them to myself. I don’t want to hide anymore; I’m not as into cover up as I once was. I’m giving up more dismissal and denial. I want to own my difficulties and struggles in such a way that I can sow them and make them useful. I need to take them with me rather than attempt to pretend that they don’t exist. I can’t expect others to be real with me if I am unwilling to be real with them.

Yeah…I’m the girl with the metal cuff crutches.

I’m the girl who doesn’t do barstools, escalators, and “wheel-y” chairs.

I’m the girl with drool on my chin during random times of the day.

My pants may be too long and my shirt may be too short.

I may require extra time to do things and do them well.

There are some things I just can’t do.

My balance is pitiable and my key doesn’t always go in the lock on the first try.

I live with Cerebral Palsy because I have to, not because I want to.

If you need patience with me, take heart, I also need patience with myself.

Within the plan of God, I aspire to be the girl who loves well.

Within the plan of God, I aspire to be the girl who learns well.

Within the plan of God, I aspire to be the girl who listens for His voice.

Within the plan of God, I aspire to be the girl who laughs often. but at appropriate moments.

In His great love and compassion toward me, God is teaching me what it means to be wonderful…I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Join me in my continuing journey as I discover what it means for me to run with endurance and find myself joyfully unencumbered…