Making it real...

The fleeting and the not so...
"I go on in the hope that I may come to the knowledge of that for which I was made the servant of Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 3:12)

I was at Bible Study yesterday morning when one of the ladies put forth an observation which really made me think, question, ponder, and hopefully grow. I love insights which get down the grit, marrow, and reality of where I am because they challenge me. They remind me I am not yet where long to be; there's still space left to grow, there's still learning to be sought after in my personal walk. There's ideas to grapple with, and practicalities: What does this mean? What does this mean for me? What does this look like in real-life? What does this look like in my real-life? Does it have true impact? What will true impact look like? How does impact relate to calling? How do I get from surface to deep? From passive to active? From cursory and duty to contemplative and delight?

I don't want to just brush over the surface and be content with shoulds, mights, and maybe next years. Long I have lived seeking someday and presently I am faced with: starting now, starting here, starting with me. It's tough to acknowledge my own ignorance and where that ignorance has brought me, or left me, as the case may be. I come up against things I have not done, things I have left undone, things I have neglected or overlooked due to tunnel-vision. Or agenda. or poor planning. or selfishness...or, or, or.

I  awake to confession, to contrition, to renewed consideration, to perhaps more and different contribution. I don't wish to over-analyze, but I wish to pause and reflect enough.  I want to reflect upon Him and with Him, so that I may keep learning from Him and become more like Him. 

I want to take the revelation He is giving me and grow in it, so that I can accurately portray Him to others when they encounter me. I praise Him for His goodness which brings to re-think and and perhaps re-align my priorities. How have I known Him for so long and yet missed Him in so much?

There is much to be said for continued growth in continued grace...If He is really the ever-living, self-revealing, King of the universe He merits the respect and attention that is due Him.